All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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