And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
