dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
