I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
