Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
