I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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