I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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