That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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