Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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