i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
