I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I have already put on my inside pants.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
