so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
