you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
