come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
