so that wasnt chicken after all
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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