i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
