@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
