Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
