you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
