Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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