new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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