at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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