I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize