I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize