So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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