he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
