Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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