So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
