After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
