Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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