Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize