its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize