I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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