I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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