Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
