Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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