Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
