how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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