i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize