Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize