hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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