You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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