Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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