brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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