She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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