i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I looked at my own cervix.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
