i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
