You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
