He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize