I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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