Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
