good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
