I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
