I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize