i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
