the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
