Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
