So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
