the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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