dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
