dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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