yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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