I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
FUCK WHALES
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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