I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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